I made my appointment about a week ago and had no idea what to expect. I waited patiently for the phone call with a mix of fear and exhiliration. How else would you feel waiting for the call from someone who you had seen on TV and read about? I kept checking my cellphone panicking as the time ticked closer. Wouldn't you know it as soon as I put it down...my ringtone went off of LadyHawke, My Delirum. I picked up my phone and saw it said unknown number. I knew it was time and I answered.
She answered, "Hi, its Hudson". For the next fifty minutes of that time I ended up pouring out my soul and crying twice. Her words were probing, she asked about my family, upbringing. She asked me why I had made the appointment. I had to think for a moment but the truth was it went beyond the superficial of her being an actress. She offered another viewpoint. She quickly confessed no bias of any religion. She practiced Hinduism and openly listened to my engrained Christian viewpoint. We talked about the nature of God, that God is a loving God, not one of harsh judgement. In any religion it seems you always have people who take whats good and slant it to fit their own prejudices. I have seen much of that in my life, people that have been lost and hurting shunned because of preconceived prejudices based on someones understanding of scriptures. She spoke to me of Jesus and of his love, offering me words that would reach me knowing my background.
I cried my hurts and she listened patiently. She knew that the real problem lied within me, my own learned preceptions and that no matter how hard I tried to love others that until I worked on myself, my efforts would come to nothing. The truth is when you live in your mind, you become disconnected from your body. You were born to live in this world, not in your head. When you come out into the world, mind, body and soul, the world opens up to you and you find meaning and purpose. (Her wisdom, not mine) She gave me two homework assignments, to write a letter to myself about all the bad things I had done through my false perspective and to look into the mirror and say, "I love you Kim". It is going to be difficult since neither am I accustomed to. Amusingly we finished about four minutes early and she asked me if there was anything else I wanted to talk about. I babbled literally for four minutes, totally at a loss for words. It is always a good policy to shut your mouth if you don't have anything meaningful to say, babbled like a giddy fan (so embarassed)
In conclusion, by the end I felt drained and exhausted. I felt like my facade had been annihilated. I had no idea what I had signed up for and now experiencing it, I don't regret it. We will have to see what session two has in store...to be continued.
